Running A Business With My Husband (Mixing Marriage With Business)
Running A Business With My Husband (Mixing Marriage With Business)
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Marley: Hey, babe.
Marley: People on Instagram are asking what it’s really like to work with your spouse. You wanna make a video on it?
Wayne: Yeah, sure let’s do it.
Marley: The people want to know, how do you really feel?
Wayne: About what?
Marley: About working with your spouse.
Wayne: Do you want the real truth?
Wayne: It’s honestly like–
Marley: Uh oh.
Wayne: It’s pretty fun.
Marley: Oh! So we get questions all the time and we actually asked on our Instagram stories yesterday, do you have any questions for us about working together as a couple, as spouses? What is it like mixing love and business? So we thought that we would answer some of them.
Q: How do you balance business and married life?
Wayne: I don’t believe in balance at all. I don’t think that there’s such thing as balance.
Marley: Balance is a myth
Wayne: It’s totally a myth.
Marley: Wait, what does balance look like? Like what is the definition of balance? I think it’s just if you’re happy and you’re doing what makes you happy. I mean people tell me all the time, “You’re a workaholic.” or, “You travel too much.” or, like, what is too much? What is balance?
Wayne: I don’t know, I mean I think everybody has their own definition of what balance would be. For me, I just don’t have expectations, and I don’t really believe in balance. I just go with my day to day flow and we just be happy with each other. I think the… What this person is mainly asking is, how do you separate balance or, how do you separate marriage and business? And that’s pretty simple. Just take your wife out on dates, lots and lots of dates, and when it comes to business, it’s strictly business and there’s no going around it. The biggest thing that we focus on is we both have our own separate offices. So my office is my office and her office is her office, and business hours are business hours. And when we’re done working and it comes time to marriage and dating each other, we really just try and unplug and focus on each other versus everything else that’s going on. It’s super hard sometimes, but I think we also really enjoy talking business with each other because, that’s what we decided to do together.
Marley: We built this business around our lifestyle. We wanted a business that fueled our lifestyle, not that run our life. Like a lot of people… I mean before we could say the opposite, when we were both in nine to fives. How did we balance our nine to five and our lifestyle at home? Now we get to work at home and be at home with each other and travel and get to enjoy each other’s company and our business is something that we love to do because we get to be creative, we work with amazing people, we can travel if and when we want to, we can also stay home if and when we want to. We have been doing a lot of travel lately but it’s always fun. We always joke that it’s like, we’re going on our 37th honeymoon. We enjoy it. So another thing that we developed kind of early on in working together, was that we have to have time where we’re speaking to each other as spouses, and times where we also hold each other accountable as though it’s business. Like, even though you’re my husband and I could be like, you know what? I’m tired. I’m going to take the day off and go shopping. I would never do that to my boss, or to my colleague, or my coworker, or whatever. We have to have, still, expectations of each other in business and in the relationship, and there’s give and take, and there’s compromise and we just– We work really well together. And that’s not to say that it’s always perfect, because it’s not.
Wayne: No. I mean you just you have to put on the right hat at the right moment.
Wayne: That’s the biggest thing so like, I’m constantly changing hats sometimes, because sometimes I need to be a husband, sometimes I need to be a son, or a brother, and sometimes I need to be a CEO, so we’re constantly changing hats.
Marley: I think another, just to wrap this up, is when people are asking about balance, you said it before, of like, we have times where we just unplug but we do work a lot, but it’s because we have a business that we turned what we did for fun as a hobby, into a business. So, when people say, you’re a workaholic or you work too much, in my mind, I could go like, you could also say that I play too much, because we love what we do.
Wayne: I’m going to turn my phone off ’cause I made a rookie mistake and left it on–
Q: What are some of the biggest challenges that you have faced running a business together?
Marley: My boss is a hard-ass.
Wayne: So’s mine. So, I think, like, one of the biggest challenges is going through fears with each other. So, sometimes, we’re like, we’re launching something new, or we’re taking on a new project, or we have to onboard another person on the team, and like, in entrepreneurship, everyday can feel super overwhelming. I mean, it’s no secret that there’s a lot on our plate and we’re feeding a lot of people, and we’re making an impact, and sometimes we have fears, and one of the biggest challenges that, I mean, me personally, I have a hard time sharing my fears with Marley because I don’t want her to think that I’m going to pull out and run away, you know what I mean? I don’t want her to think that I’m going to go back to a nine to five or I’m going to give up. So, that’s one of the biggest challenges that I’ve been going through. I guess it’s just communicating in the right way, to not let your spouse think that you’re giving up. But being able to share your feelings and accept each other for… You know, this is how I’m feeling in the moment, and we really, we really, really strive for uplifting each other because every day can be hard.
Marley: It’s funny that what you just described to me sounded like something that I love about us working together that, yes, it’s a challenge, but at the same time, it’s, I have you as my partner. That, in everything we’re going through, you get it with me because before we started working together, when I was in the business and you were still in nine to five and, like, considering making the switch over, there were times where I felt like, if I had to work late, it was hard to… Like, I felt guilty and I felt bad. Like I wasn’t giving you enough of me and then sometimes there might have been resentment, like I didn’t go to bed at the same time as you and we didn’t spend that time together, and because you weren’t in the business like… Not that you didn’t get it, but we were on different spaces and now that we work together, it’s like, we know when we have to have an early night or an early morning or a late night and we get that. So, I guess, going back to… That was a bit of a challenge. When we first started, Wayne was transitioning from the nine to five into business and that was, like, what you said about communication. We had to figure out how to communicate with each other and be like, okay, I’m putting on my work hat right now,
Marley: Not my wife hat. And so that was… We’ve really developed our communication since then to be like, okay let’s talk. This is business right now. But in that sense, there’s also, because we know each other so intimately, how I can support you personally as well as in business.
Wayne:Yeah. And then, another really big challenge is setting boundaries. For example, Marley likes to travel. It’s no secret. For her, traveling is momentum, but for me, I like to stay home. And for me, being in my environment in my daily routines, that’s where I gain my momentum. And so, this will go back to the first question, kind of, about balance. There’s give and take. With sometimes in sacrifice comes great reward. I’m able to push through my boundaries with her and go traveling with her and be on the road for 186 days out of the year.
Marley: True story.
Wayne: Yeah, I mean like, just setting boundaries. Even when it comes down to who’s doing the dishes, or who’s going to get the groceries?
Marley: Sounds like something to outsource.
Wayne: Yeah. We do outsource a lot of it but, boundaries is a big thing. Like, set your boundaries and you know… I don’t know where I’m going with that. Setting boundaries is huge.
Marley: I concur.
Q: What is the best thing about working together in your business?
Marley: I’m going to say, you can like, makeout on your lunch hour.
Wayne: Daily cuddles.
Marley: Daily, oh. We have a daily huddle with our team, but then we have a daily cuddle. TMI? I think one of the other reasons why we wanted to have a business that we could be at home and be with each other is that we get to be with each other. I hate the thought of going to a nine to five and counting the clock and being like, how many hours until I can get home and be with this guy? Look how cute he is.
Marley: Look how handsome you are.
Wayne: That’s nice.
Marley: When we’re traveling, sometimes we travel separately and it’s hard. We actually, our last trip, we had to leave each other at the airport. I was going to another location and Wayne was going home and I was like, oh God, this is hard. And so sometimes people will ask, do you ever get sick of working with each other? Like, you’re together all the time.
Marley: We’re not just saying that. We have moments where I’m like, I need to go do this. I need some space. Like, sometimes, if I need to be just in the zone, I like working alone. That’s fine. But at the end, I don’t know, we don’t spend very much time apart.
Wayne: No, no. The best part about working with each other is definitely getting to spend as much time with each other, and we get to travel with each other, and go on amazing adventures, and meet new people together.
Marley: The locations. We would never think that we would go to those places. And I just love watching our growth. I mean, I get to witness you, from the time that we met, to now, who you are today. I’m just really impressed and your–
Wayne: Well, even you. I mean, you’ve gone through so many changes. It was so hard for you to leave your nine to five. Just watching you push through all of that is amazing. I think the best part about… Like, another really good part about working with each other, is that we get to watch each other grow, and we get to push each other to grow into who we actually want to be.
Marley: It’s very attractive to see him blossom from… That’s a whole other… You’re going to have to subscribe to his YouTube channel because his story, like, you would think that his upbringing and his childhood, that he would never be where he is today. And, like, I can’t even believe that that before picture became you, this after picture.
Marley: Love you.
Wayne: Love you.
Q: If you could give your most valuabe advice to other couples venturing into business, what would it be?
Marley: Do it.
Wayne: Yeah, just go for it. When I was working a nine to five and Marley was running her business, I used to go to work and used to hate my life every single day going into work. And all of the guys that I worked with are like, man, like what are you doing here? Why aren’t you working with your wife? She’s making really good money, and I know you are here too, but wouldn’t you feel so much happier working with your wife and at home? And at first I was like, no, no I wouldn’t. But then one hard week at work later, and I was like, I’ll give it a shot. So I went to Marley, and instead of being like, Hey, I’m going to come home and I’m going to work with you now. It wasn’t like that at all. I went to Marley and I was like, hey, what could I do in the business, that would provide a lot of value, instead of coming in and being like, I’m going to take over. You know what I mean? That’s not really how it works. The biggest thing is, if your spouse is coming into a job with you, or coming into your business, you really have to create a job for them. Let them figure out what they really want to do in the business, would be the biggest thing for sure.
Marley: And divide up your roles. Like, here’s what you own and, here’s what you own, and here’s how you create momentum in the business. If I was answering that for who… If you’re considering building a business with your spouse, my advice, I guess I’ll start with a story. For me, I feel like the normal is to have a nine to five. To work in society. And to me, now that this is our new normal, that doesn’t feel normal to me. Nine to five to me feels like restriction. Feels like constraint. Feels like I… My time is owned by someone else. That I am trading time for dollars. I am trading my life for a paycheck and we have a lifestyle, we have a business where we don’t have a ceiling on our income. We don’t have time restriction that we have to be in a certain place at a certain time. And if you think of how humans in general have evolved, from being cavemen, and survival, and like going out hunting for their food for their… Like, that’s what we’re doing. So to be in the nine to five doesn’t feel normal to me anymore. It feels like this should be the normal. That we get to create what we want, and even when we have kids one day, they’re probably going to be raised differently, coming from an entrepreneurial family. So that’s my best advice.
Q: How has business strengthened your marriage and how has your marriage strengthened your business?
Marley: When I first started the business, I first didn’t know that Wayne was going to join me in it, because also, Wayne wasn’t great with technology. He didn’t even have an iPhone until we met.
Wayne: I didn’t have a phone until I was like 18 years old.
Marley: Didn’t use computers.
Wayne: Well, I had like, a laptop and I knew like… I don’t know. I shouldn’t say that. I had a PC before we met, so I didn’t know how to copy and paste on a Mac. I didn’t know how to use a Mac at all. But I knew how to use a PC. I knew how to use computers, but it wasn’t like my average thing that I would go to. For the longest time, I never had Facebook. For the longest time, I never used technology. I had no desire to have a phone. I didn’t even know what Instagram was until I met her.
Marley: And then he became an Instagram husband.
Wayne: That’s not true.
Marley: I was just going to say, there were learning curves. So like, the one side of it was technology, but then, also, that, when I started the business, I didn’t, I mean, I started the business by accident. I was a dental hygienist and I happened to be doing social media for the dental office. The IT guy asked if he could refer me to another client of his because I just was kinda good at it. He referred me to all of his clients. Then I realized, oh I can make really good money doing this on the side. That grew into, I can replace my income and I didn’t have the vision of what that was going to turn into at the time, it was just, I can escape my nine to five, but then that actually translated into, then I had a busier job that now I had to sign my own paychecks to be able… So there was more pressure. But what I was going to say is, I didn’t have the vision for what that was. I didn’t know how my visions were going to grow and I didn’t know how I was going to grow. And then with Wayne joining the business, or even before he even joined the business, was, how is that going to affect our marriage? Because when I first started the business… Sorry, when I first left the nine to five and was all in on the business, I was in this survival mindset that I was just like, I have to make enough money. I have to do all this. I have to get all the clients I can, and I actually started to tie myself-worth to my business, and to my clients, and to the results. And I totally lost myself in it. And what do you think happened to us? We had a period where things were really hard and Wayne was very neglected and that’s so… Like, I still feel sick to my stomach to say that because that was a low point in our marriage and I feel like it was my fault. In the moment, I was feeling like, I’m doing everything I can for us to survive. For us to pay the bills and to make enough money. Even though you were still in your nine to five but I just wanted to keep growing so that I could get us to a place where we had more freedom. I feel like that’s a common theme with entrepreneurs is they start a business so that they can have more freedom for their families and flexibility, and money saved up but then they lose that reason of why they started in the first place and they disconnect from their family because they’re just in this like, blinders on, hustle and get the results and I lost myself and I could’ve lost you in that process which was devastating when I realized it.
Wayne: Yeah. But even like, when I joined the business, I felt like your business got so much more scalable. We figured out each other’s strengths and what we were good at and then like, from there we were just getting client after client after client after client. We’re gone for like, 186 days out of the year. Like, traveling, working constantly and when we figured out each other’s strengths in the business, things just were able to scale so much more. I mean, Marley wasn’t doing video marketing until I joined the business, and our very first client, we ended up doing video for them.
Marley: We developed this whole process together. Otherwise, I think I would’ve been still just doing social media and then we realized how fun it was to do video for ourselves and for clients. And we’re like, we get more results doing, let’s do this. And the whole process we’ve created, was because we did that together
Wayne: Joined together, yeah. We joined together and we discovered video, and how we could make it work, and then we came up with this big, sexy package that is absolutely amazing.
Marley: And then you spoke about scalability. Then both of us were hustling and then we learned how to become leaders and lead a team, and as of right now, we have 15 people on our team?
Marley: 16 people on our team. And learned how to go from being the Chief Everything Officer to being a CEO that has an amazing team and, where I used to think that I was the only person that could edit these videos, and script these things, and work with the clients. I’m not this snowflake unicorn. We have an amazing team that we get to lead now. They’re like our family.
Wayne: They are our family.
Marley: Like you, hiding behind the camera. He’s smirking though. I saw that two more came in on Instagram, so before we wrap this up there’s two more.
Q: Do you ever get to really turn off the business part or is it silently lingering in the background?
Marley: Like, you kind of said that we do unplug but, in my mind, I’m still thinking about it. So, even if we’re on a date, sometimes I might be like, auditing their marketing at the restaurant. Or sometimes if he’s trying to go on a date, he’ll turn the date night into a sales pitch. He did this the other day. I put it on my Instagram. He’s like, here’s what you get and he turned it into a stack. He gave me the urgency, and the scarcity, and the bonus if I act now. It was really funny.
Wayne: The more in-depth in business you keep going, the more it just becomes your lifestyle. I think we’ve just worked around it as a lifestyle. We do unplug. There are times where, going back to boundaries, where I’m like, I need you to not bring your phone, and she’s like, I know that’s super hard for her and she’s like freaking out but sometimes I’m like, No, we’re going to do something. We’re going, whatever. We’re going on a date and you can’t bring your phone and so we make that work. I wouldn’t say it’s always lingering in the background because we are able to turn off when we need to. Especially when we’re with our family, sometimes it’s really hard because we’ll be in the moment of something really big going on in the business, but when we’re with our family, we really need to turn off and give them our attention.
Marley: That’s a really good point that we have our friends and family who we don’t expect to put up with us being in business mode. They need our best. So we want to make sure we can show up as our best and sometimes that means waking up early in the morning, to make sure that we’ve gotten through everything that we need to do in our day that we can leave it at the door at five o’clock so that we can go give our best selves to our parents, our siblings, and the people who need us.
Wayne: So, to answer that question, it’s very hard, but we do turn off when we need to.
Q: How do you get through an argument?
Wayne: I walk away. She talks about it.
Marley: Oh yeah.
Wayne: I go into a cave and I’m just like, don’t talk to me.
Marley: I’m a verbal processor.
Wayne: She’ll talk it out with her friends or, she’ll want to talk about it, but she knows that I need to process things before I’m able to come back from an argument. But it usually doesn’t take me long.
Marley: Our arguments are never long, which is the great thing to remember. When I think about, how do you get through an argument? I always know, even if it feels hard, that it never lasts long between us.
Wayne: Yeah. If we do argue, it’s over petty, little, tiny things that don’t even matter. So like, when we’re frustrated and I walk away, it usually takes me about 10 to 15 minutes to go, I don’t even understand why we were arguing about that.
Marley: And most of the time, I actually forget.
Wayne: Yeah. I’ll come back and I’ll be like, “I’m sorry that it went this way.” and she’ll be like, “I didn’t even remember.”
Marley: I forgot, what are you talking about? So, in summary, working together with your spouse, is great. We love it.
Both:Yeah we do.
Marley: And if you are someone that wants to start a business, we actually teach people exactly what we do, whether that’s if you’re an influencer, if you’re an entrepreneur that wants to get visible through video, or if you have an agency, and want to provide services like we do. So we’ll put the links below but we’d also love for you to join our Facebook group where we speak with other entrepreneurs and it’s called Entrepreneur on Purpose because we both work with influencers and entrepreneurs who have a purpose, and work on purpose to make an impact and a profit in the world. So, I hope that was enjoyable, and of course, if you have more questions, put them in the comments below. Maybe we’ll do a part two or, you know, another Q&A somewhat similar to this. Follow his YouTube channel, subscribe to this channel, and we’ll see you in the next one.